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There once was a man named Pepper Jack With two interesting nipples on his chest. One was flaky and red, like the flake of Dried red pepper. The other was flaky and blue Like the flake of dried seasonings. Pepper Jack was always afraid to make love To a woman, because he was afraid of what She would say when she saw his interesting Nipples. So one day, while he was alone with a girl Named Mauve, who he thought was strictly a Platonic friend, she slapped him and chained him To the bed, pulled out the whips and handcuffs And ripped off his shirt, all while Pepper Jack Screamed in horror! She saw his interesting nipples, But she was not afraid. Mauve was a very brave woman And Pepper Jack's nipples turned her on, for She thought they were very, very interesting tats. So she began to whip him, because she loved bondage. And Pepper Jack cried, and Mauve kissed his interesting Nipples. And she kissed them again, and again, and Again, again, again, again, again. They tasted so good! She bit off the red interesting nipple. She bit off the blue interesting nipple. She chewed up Pepper Jack until he lay Dead on the bed, interestingly nippleless. Mauve, unsure of what to do, chopped up Pepper Jack's body into many little pieces And fed them to cows across the world. And that is the story of how Pepper Jack Cheese came to be.
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